2000 Seconds
by chronicleofcoincidence
Summary: Nagisa and Tomoya's relationship was just like snow: It was beautiful, but eventually had to melt away. However, they found their snowfields within each other's hearts.
1. Snowfall

Hello. This is COC. This is my first Clannad fanfic, and its title is "2000 seconds". This fanfic will probably be a four-shot, or maybe five-shot, depending on how inspired I am. Each chapter will include references to snow, as well as implications regarding how much Tomoya and Nagisa's relationship has to do with snow.

For a little change, I decided to make Tomoya and Nagisa childhood friends. However, the events in Clannad and Clannad After story are completely respected, and I will include scenes of the series, expanding them to see what the conversation might have turned out to be afterwards.

That said, I hope you enjoy.

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**Chapter 1: Snowfall**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The sound was annoying, and it pierced his ears. How come he couldn't notice that before? Okazaki Tomoya slowly opened his eyes. At first, he didn't recognize where he was. The white walls and the beeping sound didn't sound familiar. However, as his thoughts cleared, he remembered. He wasn't at home. He was at the hospital.

His eyes, still not completely open, moved slowly towards the bed in front of him. On top of it, there was a girl. His best female friend since childhood. His fellow club member. His _girlfriend_. The person whom he loved most in the world. Furukawa Nagisa.

Nagisa was asleep. She was connected to the electrocardiogram, which made the beeping sound. It was showing on the screen the line on her heartbeat. Fortunately, she didn't need any help breathing at the moment, though the doctor hadn't known if her condition would worsen or improve. Nagisa's illness was a mystery to all of them. When they were little, Tomoya used to think Nagisa was always ill because of Sanae's bread, which she ate wholeheartedly everyday to make her mother feel proud, although it tasted horrible. As time had passed, he had come to understand that Sanae's bread had nothing to do with it at all.

His watch told him it was ten past eight in the evening. Sanae and Akio were probably in the cafeteria, eating something. He must've fallen asleep when he had come from school to keep her company. The hospital in their town was still being built, so he had had to take the train to the neighboring city, where she was being monitored now. He had been staying in the hospital for two nights already, and he felt tired and sleepy most of the time. A couch in a hospital room was probably not the best place to sleep, but at least he could be near her. Akio and Sanae respected his decision, and entrusted Nagisa to him.

Tomoya had known Nagisa since they were children, and he had protected her from a pair of bullies. Since then, they had been friends. She was one year older that him. When she had gone to a different middle school than him, they had lost contact. However, due to Nagisa having to repeat her third year of high school because of her weak health, they had regained contact. Her rate of attendance had been too low, so she was held back one year. And it didn't seem like it was going to be different this year. Tomoya's hopes of graduating together would probably never come true.

He watched the girl on the bed, noticing the steady movement of her chest, rising and falling. He had lost count of the number of times he'd been watching her like this, wishing for that breathing not to stop.

Now fully awake, Tomoya moved his glance away from his girlfriend. He had already checked she was alright. She probably wouldn't wake up for some time, so he might as well go and look for Sanae and Akio. His stomach seemed to suddenly ask for some attention.

He stood up and started walking to the door, but before leaving, he caught a glimpse of what was going on outside the room. Without being able to believe it, he neared the window, and looked outside. Even though it was still late autumn, Tomoya could clearly see small snowflakes falling onto the Earth. It was the first snowfall of that year.

As he watched those tiny crystals drifting and swirling around, and finally touching the ground and turning it white, his mind slowly started replaying memories. Memories from long, long ago…

--

"But papa…"

"Now, Tomoya, please don't be unreasonable. I need you to understand."

"But I _promised_." He highlighted the last word. Tomoya was still the age where promises were important and had meaning behind them.

"I know, but it's been snowing for the whole night. It's cold and difficult to go outside. Her parents will probably keep her at home too."

"But I promised Nagisa that, when it snowed, we'd go together to the park and do a snowman, and an igloo, and have a snowball fight, and do snow angels…"

Okazaki Naoyuki sighed. He had to go to work. He couldn't afford not to because of the snow. His salary was barely enough to cover all their expenses, and he knew that he couldn't skip one single day. He had planned on leaving Tomoya alone at home for some time, since he was very responsible and had experience staying on his own. His child however, had other ideas, and was being too stubborn.

"Tomoya, try to understand. I have to go to work. You can't go outside on your own and…"

"But it's a promise." Tomoya explained, as if that justified everything.

Naoyuki sighed once again. His son wouldn't give up on his words. There was no way of convincing him otherwise. If he locked the door, Tomoya would probably break a window and escape to meet his friend. The father gave up.

"Alright, I'll tell you what we'll do. I'll walk you to Nagisa's home and you'll stay with them until I come to pick you up. I probably won't be very late."

"Yes!" Tomoya ran off. His father could tell his footsteps were directed to the entrance door.

"Come here, Tomoya! You have to put on your coat!"

Tomoya ran back to his room. He was very excited. Naoyuki helped his son put on a warm sweater, a fluffy coat, gloves and a scarf, while Tomoya moved around impatiently. It took what seemed like an eternity to Tomoya to get ready. As Naoyuki went to search for his coat, the child, running again, went out to the street.

It was a cloudy Sunday. The sky was completely grey. The streets, usually filed with many sounds, were now completely silent. Nothingness filled the air, giving it an ethereal and untouchable sensation, as if time had stopped. It was such a fragile moment that Tomoya didn't dare to make any sound. He had a feeling that, if he disrupted it, the scene would shatter into millions of tiny fragments.

The usually colorful surroundings were now totally white, unstained and pure. There was no wind, and no snowflakes fell anymore. Everything looked like it had been frozen. The boy looked up at the sky, and observed how his own breath came out, turned into a small white cloud and slowly vanished into the freezing air.

Naoyuki soon exited the house. After locking the door, he grabbed Tomoya's little hand, held in his own and set off, making their way to the Furukawa bakery.

-

"Papa, I'm going to the park to see if Nagisa's there!"

"I don't think she will, Tomoya. It's still quite early, and you're in your winter vacation. She'll probably be sleeping."

"No! She'll surely be waiting! I know!"

"Alright, go and check it out. If she's not there, go directly to the bakery. I'm sure it must already be open."

The little boy ran off, while his father kept on walking towards the Furukawa bakery. Tomoya ran quickly, his short legs getting half-buried in the snow with each of his steps. He soon made it to the park in front of his friend's home.

At first, he didn't see anyone. Tomoya got to the conclusion that he had been wrong. She wasn't waiting. But then he noticed a small figure sitting on one of the swings. A trail of footsteps was visible, and came from the Furukawa bakery.

As soon as he stepped forward once again, he noticed the figure on the swing slowly turn around, and he found himself staring into Nagisa's warm eyes.

With a swift movement, she descended from the swing, and walked towards him, with her feet sinking into the snow in a way similar to his. She was wearing a very long black scarf around her neck, so long that both of its ends reached the ground, and were all full of snow. Her cheeks were flushed, and tiny crystals hung from her eyelashes, telling him that she had been waiting outside for a very long time.

She didn't say a "hello" or "how are you". She just looked at him, and he in return, looked at her. The two children observed each other, seeing who would be the first to say something. Nagisa finally broke the silence.

"Tomoya-kun, you came."

The boy simply nodded.

"You're late."

"No I'm not." Tomoya replied.

"I've been waiting for you. For a long, long time. I'm glad you finally came."

"Sorry, but my dad wouldn't let me come. At the end, I managed to convince him."

"It's alright. What's important is that you didn't break our promise."

"And how did your parents let you come? Weren't you sick the other day?"

The little girl smiled.

"Yes, but I'm okay now. So they told me to enjoy myself while I can. There's little chance of me being ill again because of snow!"

As to prove so, she bent down and made a snowball which she fired with amazing precision at Tomoya. He, in turn, grabbed a handful of snow and threw it without mercy. Soon, the two youngsters were throwing snow at each other at an amazing speed. When they finished their small battle, which ended in a draw, they lay in the snow and moved their legs and arms up and down to create angels. They repeated this process several times, and the park was decorated with five pairs of glistening angels. Their clothes had ended up covered in snow, and they were wet and cold, but they were having so much fun that they didn't care about those seemingly unimportant details.

The streets were busier now. It was now getting closer to midday and there started to be movement around the town. Although there were no cars, because the snow had blocked most of the roads, you could see people walking up and down, enveloped in many layers of clothing and walking very fast to avoid losing any body heat. Mostly adults could be seen. Children were kept at home during days like these, so the two friends had the whole park for themselves.

Then, Nagisa and Tomoya started building a snowman. However, after a tiring half an hour of work, they had only managed to build a miniature snowman, which measured less than half a meter. They had hoped for something a bit bigger. Although Tomoya was a bit disappointed, Nagisa convinced him that it was good enough, and she wrapped her own scarf around the snowman. They used small rocks and pebbles in the park to make its eyes, nose, mouth and pretended buttons.

As soon as Nagisa had placed the last rock in its place, and Tomoya was thinking about building an igloo, a snowflake fell, followed by another one. In no time, those little frozen droplets of water filled the air, falling slowly. It was starting to snow once again.

"Let's go to the bakery." Tomoya suggested. "We'll come out again when the snow stops."

They ran to Nagisa's home, forgetting Nagisa's scarf. Fortunately, when they arrived, Sanae was behind the counter, and took care of them immediately. She stripped the children of their wet clothes, covered them with warm blankets and made them sit in the living room with mugs of warm chocolate. She told Tomoya his father would come to pick him up later. As she attended customers in the bakery, and Akio baked some bread which people in the neighborhood could actually eat, the children drank their hot chocolates and looked at the snow falling through a window.

"Ne, Tomoya-kun."

"What?"

"Do you know at what speed snow falls?"

"No."

"I saw it yesterday on TV. It seems that snowflakes fall at 1 meter per second, but since clouds are very, very high, snow takes 2000 seconds to get to the ground. That's like half an hour."

"Really? That long?"

"Yes, but it depends on the type of snow. This is just for cases when there's no wind, like today."

Tomoya's eyes widened. He could never believe how much information his friend had in store.

"Wow. You sure know a lot, Nagisa!"

She smiled cutely.

"Thank you."

The boy started thinking about the life of those snowflakes.

"But it must be boring to be a snowflake. I mean, you're dropped up there by a cloud, and you know that all that's left for you is to fall to the ground and eventually melt. They must not like their life a lot."

"I agree. They must lead a lonely life, falling by themselves. or drifting apart from other snowflakes, and finally to end up being turned into water. Poor snowflakes."

"We're lucky we're not snowflakes." Decided Tomoya.

"Yes, we truly are."

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Read and review, please. Thanks.

COC


	2. Snowfield

Hello! This is the second chapter of "2000 seconds". I hope you enjoy**.**

Thanks to Sanctus Vindex and Redios, who have reviewed so far. I was glad you noticed the reference to the movie "5 cm per second". Actually, I've only watched the first ten minutes of the film, and this fic was inspired by the first lines of the movie. But since I don't know how the movie goes, I can assure you this will not be a remake, crossover or anything similar. I just borrowed the idea for a title. I'll make sure to watch the whole movie as soon as I've finished this fic.

Also, thanks to my beta, CelestialxChaos. She's doing a wonderful job revising this. By the way, she said she'll give watermelons to anyone who reviews so... go and ask her!

Also, a special mention to MiakaMisuki, whom I'm helping with her Clannad fic. Anyone who's reading this should definitely read her story (Beyond the Shards) and drop a review.

All said, here's the chapter. I hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 2:** Snowfield

After observing the snow for a while, Tomoya finally turned around and exited Nagisa's room, thinking about how many things had changed. Both of them had grown up now, and they were at the age when promises didn't matter anymore, where both of them had promised things that they knew they would never do. But it was just like that. The flow of time was inevitable and, even though they would have liked to stay unchanged, they had slowly turned into adults.

As he walked down the hospital's corridor, he noticed the silence. It was the same silence as that of the days of snow, but it bore a totally different meaning. Silence during winter was ethereal, fragile, and almost beautiful. Silence in a hospital meant desperation, watching helplessly how those you love the most slip away silently without you being able to do anything.

Tomoya tried not to make any noise as he stepped on the clean tiled floor, not wanting to disrupt. He went down to the bottom floor in the elevator, while listening to a pair of women talk about their friend who had just had a baby.

The entrance hall was much livelier, with people going in and out of the hospital, doctors and nurses rushing up and down halls, and shops open for those who wanted to buy gifts for the sick. However, ignoring all of those people, he went straight to the cafeteria.

There were lots of tables, most of which were occupied at that time. At first, he didn't see Nagisa's parents, but it didn't take long for him to spot Akio's fiery red hair, along with his wife's antenna-like cowlicks which popped out of her head.

He sat with them on the other side of the table. They didn't seem to be eating. Two empty coffee cups were lying empty on the table. The adults were talking in furious whispers, trying to get to hear each other through the noisy surroundings, but not wanting anyone else to hear them. When they noticed Tomoya sitting on the table across them, they both shut up.

"Hi, Okazaki-san." Sanae greeted. She used to call him "Tomoya-kun", but she knew he didn't like to be treated like a child, so she had lately started addressing him like an adult.

"Hello." Said Akio. Nagisa's dad never called him by his name ever since he and Nagisa went out. He was just referred to as "idiot", "stupid", "you", "dumb", and other similar terms.

Tomoya didn't answer.

"Is she okay?" Sanae asked.

"Yeah, she's alright."

"We just talked to the doctor. It seems she's already out of danger. As soon as she wakes up, we can take her home."

Tomoya's eyes lit up. Akio noticed the shred of hope shining in his eyes. He hated to destroy it, but he had to act before Tomoya got fired up.

"But she won't be able to go to school. She'll have to rest at home."

The light in his eyes died. Tomoya hadn't even had time to speak.

An uncomfortable silence filled the space between the couple and the boy.

"Okazaki-san... We're sorry for all the trouble that this is causing you."

"No problem, Sanae-san. You know how much I love Nagisa. I really don't mind being here."

"We know that, Okazaki-san. It's just that you come here every day, and you're always watching over Nagisa. Aren't you tired? Wouldn't you like to go home and rest? Since she'll probably get out of here tomorrow, you can get the last train tonight and be home at midnight. And since tomorrow is Sunday, you can come early and help us pack her things."

"I prefer being here, Sanae-san. Besides, I don't really have a home to go back to."

Everyone in that table knew how tense Tomoya and Naoyuki's relationship was. Tomoya didn't consider that his home, but just a mere house. Wherever Nagisa was, _that_ would be where his home was.

Sanae clenched her fists in her lap, and very quietly, almost whispering, she said,

"They don't know what's wrong with her, Okazaki-san. She might... die any day. She probably won't be able to do most of the things normal girlfriends do. However... are you... are you still okay with that?"

Akio hugged his wife. Tomoya noticed the love and the passion they still shared, even after being together for so many years. He wanted his relationship with Nagisa to be just like that, and he would do everything he could for her.

"I love Nagisa, and that's all that matters."

Tomoya ended up staying overnight in the hospital again. He slept in the couch where he had taken his nap, occupying the same spot for the third consecutive night. Akio and Sanae had gone home to prepare everything for Nagisa's return, and they had promised to be in the hospital early the next morning.

As expected, Nagisa woke up when morning came. When she opened her eyes, she found Tomoya there, with his school uniform on, looking at her. At first, she was scared but she slowly realized where she was. Seeing the smile plastered on her boyfriend's face made her feel at ease.

"Tomoya-kun... Why are you here? Isn't there school today?"

"Don't worry, Nagisa. It's Sunday today. I stayed with you during the night, and yesterday, I came straight away after the morning classes, so I didn't have time to change."

"Tomoya-kun... I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

Akio and Sane entered the room, and they smiled seeing Nagisa with her eyes open.

"Look at what we have here! Sanae, our darling daughter just woke up!"

"Hi Dad."

"Are you feeling better, Nagisa?"

"Yes Mom."

After talking for a while and helping Nagisa eat breakfast, Nagisa and Sanae considerately kicked Akio and Tomoya out of the room and the mother helped her daughter change. It had stopped snowing, but the outside was decorated with patches of white where the snow hadn't melted yet. It was very cold.

Nagisa soon called them back in. Tomoya helped her walk around the room to strengthen her thin legs. She was soon able to walk alone, but preferred to let part of her weight rest on Tomoya's arm. While Sanae and Akio packed up Nagisa's few personal belongings, Tomoya enveloped her with her school coat, a pair of thick gloves and a large white scarf. He himself covered his body with a coat and gloves, and after agreeing on a meeting spot with Akio, left for a short walk with Nagisa.

As they went down in the elevator, Tomoya suddenly remembered something.

"Kyou, Ryou, Kotomi, Tomoyo and Sunohara send you their best wishes. Oh, and Misae-san and Yukine too."

"How are they doing?"

"Oh, just fine. Kotomi said she learnt a new joke on TV. Kyou continues to patrol around the school and kicks anyone who dares to bully Ryou. Tomoyo is, just as always, acting as the responsible person she is, and still goes to wake Sunohara up every morning, and punishes him every time he skips class. Misae-san, helps her. Yukine… well, you know. She prepares tea in the reference room every now and then."

A shadow of melancholy shadow over the girl's eyes, immediately replaced by a light of happiness.

"They all seem to be having fun."

"Yes, but I can assure you that it's not the same without you. We all miss you."

As soon as they stepped out of the hospital, the cold wind caused their cheeks to become flushed. While letting Nagisa grab his arm, they both walked up and down the hospital grounds to get warmed up and let the blood circulate through the girl's legs, which had been resting for a long time. The road was clear, and only patches of dirty snow decorated their surroundings. They were mostly half-melted, and the couple had to be careful not to step into puddles of cold water. The sky was getting steadily covered with dark menacing clouds.

Soon, Nagisa didn't feel like walking anymore, so she and Tomoya sat down on a bench and waited for Sanae and Akio to come out of the hospital to pick them up. It started snowing, however, very few snowflakes fell, as if the clouds were feeling too lazy to bother, and had just decided to let go of some leftovers.

"Hey Nagisa."

"Yes, Tomoya-kun?"

"Don't you think this resembles the time when we met each other at the bottom of the hill?"

"I don't think it does at all, Tomoya-kun."

"Why not? If you notice, these snowflakes look like those cherry blossoms."

"It might look the same to you, but I can assure you that, deep within my heart, everything's very different."

"Care to explain?"

"Back then, Tomoya-kun, I was scared. I was a lonely person who didn't have enough strength to climb the hill. I didn't have friends, and my life seemed like it could break apart at any minute. But now... I've got you, Tomoya-kun. I'm not scared anymore. Thanks to you, I made friends, and I was able to restore the drama club. I don't think it resembles that day, Tomoya-kun, because so many things have changed. Ever since you gave me the strength to climb the hill, I knew I would never be alone again."

"You see, Nagisa. We hadn't seen each other for years, but when I saw you standing that day, at the bottom of the hill, I felt like it was the first time I'd seen you. I knew it was you all along, and I don't know why, but I promised myself I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

Nagisa blushed.

"Thank you so much, Tomoya-kun, but I think you're exaggerating. We had seen each other a lot of times in school. It's just that we never actually talked."

"When you went to a different middle school than me, we drifted apart, so seeing you in high school was quite embarrassing. I mean, we hadn't seen each other for more than three years and we suddenly go to the same school. I never even greeted you, for God's sake! It was too awkward! I never realized you were repeating until I saw you standing there with the school uniform!"

"Well... to be honest, I was also feeling nervous whenever I saw you. I thought that you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore because you didn't consider yourself my friend."

"No! I just felt too embarrassed to go up to you and say: 'Hey, Nagisa, it's me, the one who protected you from bullies when we were children. Wanna chat for a bit?'"

The girl laughed.

"Tomoya-kun, do you remember that day when we talked about the speed at which snow falls?"

"Of course. How could I forget?"

"Do you also remember how you told me that we're lucky we're not like snowflakes?"

"Yes."

"Well, I've been thinking about it, and I've gotten to the conclusion that, in reality, we're pretty much similar to snowflakes."

"I don't understand."

"There are no two snowflakes which are the same, just like there are no two humans which are exactly the same. We are all let down when we are born, knowing that our fate is to reach the floor and die, but we then melt, evaporate, and turn into snowflakes again, creating new lives and falling once again. We are swept by the breeze, torn apart from those whom we love, but we manage to stay put until the very end."

Tomoya didn't want to think about the end. Nagisa couldn't die. She just couldn't. She was too good to die!

"Not all of us have to melt, Nagisa. Some of us will stay forever in this world."

"You know that that's not possible, Tomoya-kun. Even for someone like me, who's been close to death many times, life is going to finish. It's our fate. We can't escape from it. And I accept it as part of myself. I'm going to die, Tomoya, and nothing will change that, just like you and everyone else will eventually leave this world."

"Then, Nagisa, I'll make sure you fall in a snowfield. A place where snow is perpetual. That way, you'll never, ever melt. You'll forever stay in this world."

"Thank you Tomoya-kun. That was so sweet!"

She looked nostalgically at the white fragments which travelled through the air.

"But I don't need eternity, Tomoya-kun. As long as I live within your heart, that'll be enough for me. Your heart will be my snowfield, where I will permanently live, as beautiful as when I fell. Forever ethereal, forever beautiful, and forever _yours_."

Tomoya didn't know what to answer. Fortunately a klaxon sounded, and when Tomoya and Nagisa looked up, they saw Akio and Sanae frantically gesturing for them to go. Laughing, Tomoya grabbed Nagisa's hand and together, they got into the car.

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What did you think? Please, read and review. Any comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated.

COC


	3. Snowcap

Hello. This is COC again. Thanks for reading until here.

This chapter will contain slightly more emotional material, as well as more profound metaphors and everything. I hope you don't get confused. Please, if you see anything too confusing or annoying, reply to me about it and I'll repost this chapter. I don't really know if it came out as I wanted it to be.

This chapter features an expanded version of a scene in episode 16 of the After Story. Spoilers for the series ahead, so be warned! I hope you enjoy.

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**Chapter 3:** Snowcap

Tomoya and Nagisa had gone out for a walk. Being in her eighth month of pregnancy, almost entering the ninth, the doctor had recommended regular exercise, so she and Tomoya had decided to go and take a look around the new hospital where she would be giving birth to Ushio. Due to her weak health and body, Nagisa wasn't suitable for exercise such as jogging or swimming, so they had decided that walking would probably be the best thing to do at the moment. It didn't help a lot keeping in shape, but it was quite enjoyable, and they could do it together.

Winter had just started, and the weather was very, very cold, but not a single snowflake had fallen. In fact, the sky was clear and there was no wind at all. Everything was just like a pretty spring day, except for the bare trees and the cold air. Everyone went around with large and fluffy coats that protected them from the freezing temperatures. Only the animals seemed to continue with their ordinary lives, singing and chirping just like any other day.

Since neither of them had a driving license, and they could not afford to buy a car, Tomoya and Nagisa had taken the train. The city center was quite crowded, with many people going around for last minute shopping and enjoying the calm atmosphere which, just like every other year, floated in the environment before Christmas.

They had walked around for some time, and admired the new installations and the Tonari Town Hospital. While walking, they had merrily talked to Ushio about how comfortable it would be when she was born. It was almost as if she was really there, listening to them.

Then, Tomoya bought a warm coffee can, which he and Nagisa shared. The brown beverage was bitter, and almost burnt their tongues, but it warmed up their bodies, and they were content with that. Nagisa's cheeks had turned bright red.

They were now waiting for the train which would take them back to their neighborhood. They had walked around for a long time already, and Nagisa was getting fatigued. Although he had noticed her tiredness, he also knew that she wasn't saying anything because she wanted him to enjoy himself as well. He had then declared that he felt like going back home so that she wouldn't feel useless.

As the train was taking a lot of time, Tomoya was thinking about getting a taxi when he heard his wife's voice from behind.

"Christmas is coming soon."

He turned around, and saw Nagisa sitting on the bank of the station. On that particular day, she was very cute with her winter clothes on. She wore a large pink coat, which she had bought extra-large so her tummy would fit inside. She also wore a very long dark pink scarf, which she had turned around her neck a number of times to avoid dragging it along the floor. Her outfit was complimented with a pair of striped gloves and a large, bizarre pink and white hat with a red flower on her left temple. She looked slightly plumpier than usual, her pregnancy state giving her a little more body volume. However, her tummy wasn't as big as they had expected.

"And it's your birthday at the same time, right?" He tried to sound casual, not letting her notice the fact that he had been thinking about it for a very long time, and had almost bought her present. "What do you want this year?"

"The Big Dango Family!"

Tomoya had seen a dango just like the ones they had at home in a store two days before. He had asked the owner to keep it for him, knowing that Nagisa would probably ask for one of those. However, not wanting his wife to notice this, he told her in an almost lecturing manner:

"We can't really have many more of those now. Besides, we don't have anywhere else to put them."

Nagisa put on a troubled face. She seemed to be having a dilemma with herself. Then, in a soft, child-like voice, she innocently asked.

"Is it difficult?"

Tomoya truly didn't want to spoil the surprise. It pained him to see Nagisa with such an expression on her face, but he knew that the smile she would put on when she opened her gift and saw a fluffy dango staring right back at her would be worth it.

"It's impossible, to begin with."

"Really...?"

They both fell silent. Nagisa patted her tummy. Ushio must have been moving around. Sometimes, Tomoya wished that he could feel what Nagisa felt every day. It wasn't like he wanted to be pregnant, but he just wondered how it would be to know that you were carrying a life within you. He even tried to imagine how it would be to be inside of Nagisa's tummy. He couldn't remember how it was for him, but he was curious as to what a baby felt within his mother's body. But he knew his curiosity was never going to become satisfied, so he decided to let that stupid desire vanish.

He was so immersed in his own thoughts that Nagisa had to call him a couple of times before he realized.

"Tomoya-kun!" She finally exclaimed, almost seemingly angry.

Nagisa's pregnancy hadn't been very complicated, apart from some morning sickness and the usual fevers she had, but all the cravings and mood swings he had always heard about had made no appearance in the Okazaki household. He wished that his wife wasn't getting the swings in her last month of pregnancy! Maybe it was in her genes to be like Akio. Tomoya had noticed many times how different his wife was from her father. If it wasn't because he knew how much Sanae loved Akio, she would've thought that Nagisa wasn't Akio's biological daughter.

"Yes?" he answered, in an almost scared voice. Seeing his wife angry made him feel only a bit intimidated. Even though she was cute when mad, she had a somehow terrifying expression. He had only seen her infuriated a couple of times, and he didn't want to witness any more anger displays. Just like Akio. Well, Akio was worse. At least he was sure Nagisa would forgive him. He never knew with the head of the Furukawa family.

However, he had just been letting his imagination run wild again. His wife had her usual calm and happy expression on. She didn't look angry at all.

"Is it really that much of a bother to have dangos at home?"

"Well... we don't have any place to put them. Think about Ushio. Where will the baby sleep?"

Nagisa seemed to be deep in thought. Suddenly, as if she had been touched by God, she raised her eyes and flashed a huge grin at Tomoya.

"We could create a dango bed for Ushio! I'm sure he or she would like it. Don't you think so? Our baby would sleep on a huuuuuuuuuuge bed made of dango dolls! Just like one more member of the Big Dango Family!"

'Please, don't bless me with a son or daughter who is as obsessed with dangos as my wife is.' Tomoya pleaded silently. Then, in a soft voice, trying to reason with the dango lover, he said,

"No thanks. Ushio would be scared if so many pairs of eyes stared at him or her during the night. It would be just like a scary movie."

"Well... that might be right. But dangos are so cute, and it's impossible to be afraid of a dango! They are so chubby..."

She put on a cheery face and started singing the dango tune.

"Dango, dango, dango, dango…"

Her singing voice was cute, but Tomoya had heard her singing that song so many times it was almost like a routine, like watching the opening of a daily TV programme while never actually watching the programme itself. He didn't even understand why she liked those… round things with eyes so much! To him, they were annoying.

"Nagisa, please be reasonable. There's no way I'm having my child sleep on dangos, by God's sake! If he or she likes dangos, we'll give him a dango to sleep with."

'Plus, I don't want Ushio to develop a dango trauma either.' Tomoya thought.

"Yes, that makes more sense." admitted Nagisa.

Silence placed itself in the space between the couple. Nagisa patted her tummy and caressed it lovingly once again. Tomoya watched that display of affection towards the baby. He could notice how much Nagisa already loved Ushio. A tiny bit of jealousy hit him. And as if noticing this, Nagisa raised her head and looked at him.

"Tomoya-kun, I love you."

The man was thrown back by her sudden confession. It wasn't like he didn't expect her to love him but... it was so sudden that he was a bit confused at first. He and Nagisa didn't express their feelings very often, because they shared such a deep bond that words weren't necessary most of the time. Their relationship wasn't very physical either: they seldom kissed each other or displayed any kind of affection rather than holding hands. Nagisa was quite shy, so he felt content knowing that she loved him. However, after staying silent for a bit, he said.

"What's come to you now?"

"I don't know. I just felt like telling you. I'm your wife, so I don't need a good reason to tell you that."

That was right. He decided to do the same thing with her. After all, he hadn't responded yet. And he didn't want her to feel hurt thinking that he didn't return her feelings, even though both of them knew how much the other person loved them.

"I love you too, Nagisa."

She suddenly laughed at something Tomoya didn't understand. But she explained.

"I would've never thought that my childhood friend would end up being my husband."

"Well, I didn't expect you to be my wife so... we're on equal terms."

"It's funny how things turn out, right?"

Then, Tomoya thought of something he had never asked her before.

"Nagisa... who do you think loved the other one first?"

"I don't know. When did you realize you loved me?"

"I think it was the day of the tennis match. When you were hurt, and I hit the other guy's hand when he went to help you, I realized I didn't want other boys to touch you. I guess it was around that time when I truly started loving you."

Tomoya's thoughts were also focused on the basketball match they had played against the basket team. He remembered how Nagisa had cheered him on and gave him the strength to throw the ball into the hoop, and therefore win. That had somehow also made him realize how strong his feelings towards the girl were. Nagisa smiled sheepishly.

"Then I win, Tomoya-kun. I loved you ever since I saw you helping Kotomi out. I realized how generous you were, and how much you truly cared about other people. That was my catalyst."

"Damn! I lost this time."

After thinking about the matter, he asked.

"Nagisa... why do you think it took me so long to realize it?"

"I don't know, Tomoya-kun. Maybe you were worried about other things, and didn't pay attention to it. It happens sometimes. Your feelings took time to become known, but you loved me, and I loved you, and here's the proof."

She pointed to her tummy, and proceeded to caress it once again, with a soft look on her face. Tomoya, suddenly saddened by the thought that he had been ignoring Nagisa's feelings for such a long time before they went out, asked her.

"How long do we have to wait for our feelings to reach other people's hearts, Nagisa?"

She didn't seem confused at all by his awkward question. Just as if she had been expecting it, she stopped patting her stomach, leaned forward, looked at her husband straight in the eyes and answered very clearly.

"Don't worry too much about it, Tomoya-kun. Just like snow takes 2000 seconds to get to the ground ever since it leaves its home in the clouds, feelings need time to form, crystallize well and reach other people's hearts."

"But... during that time, Nagisa, we hurt people. During those 2000 seconds, we unintentionally hurt people by not understanding them. By not taking their own feelings into account. Did I hurt you once, Nagisa?"

"No, Tomoya-kun. You never did."

"I don't want anyone to feel hurt because of me, Nagisa. I want everyone to be happy."

"That's impossible. For every decision we take, we make people happy, but also cause sadness within other people's hearts."

Suddenly, without any apparent reason, many faces popped into his head. Kyou, Tomoyo, Yukine, Kotomi, Ryou, Mei, Yusuke... even Sunohara's stupid grin appeared within his mind. How many people had he hurt taking decisions he thought were correct? The two last faces were his father's, much to his dismay, and... Nagisa's. And, without knowing why, he felt hurt by the thought that he could even make her heart twitch in pain.

"I promise you, Nagisa, that for as long as I live, I'll try to protect our happiness. I'll feel with you. I'll understand your emotions. That way, I'll never be able of hurting you. Because, if humans understand each other, and share their pain, their hopes, their fears, their love... we can never hurt each other."

"If that is your decision, you'll have to live for 2000 seconds every time you feel something, letting your emotions create themselves and silently float and fall into mine. Just like mine will take that time to reach yours. From now on, we will have to live every single minute of our lives for 2000 seconds if we want to truly understand each other."

At first, the man didn't understand. He had never been very good at math, so the apparent problem threw him back at first. But, as he reflected on what Nagisa had just said, he realized that she was comparing their feelings to snow. Feelings took time to create, to take shape and finally be confessed. No two feelings were the same, and they eventually melted and changed into something different. Just like humans, just like snowflakes.

Feelings took time to get to other people, because not even the person who bears them might be aware of it. However, as soon as one knew what his heart felt, they let their feelings fall, softly, into the other person's soul. And those feelings would slowly accumulate in the other person's heart, creating a snowcap which would configure that person's soul. A snowcap which would hold all the bonds that that person shared, a snowcap where people would remain through time.

So, from then on, he would have to make each of his minutes one thousand nine hundred and forty seconds longer to let his emotions reach her heart, and slowly pile up, adding to her pure and unstained snowcap.

"Nagisa, I don't care if I have to live at 2000 seconds per minute from now on to be with you... I think I can cope with that."

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Reviews are greatly appreciated! Please, I really, really want to know your opinions, whether they are good or bad. Criticism makes writers improve.

COC


	4. Snowmelt

Hello! This is the second to last chapter of this fic. It's in Tomoya's POV. Nothing more to say so... read and enjoy, please!

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Chapter 4: Snowmelt

Nagisa… do you remember the snow?

Time passes by in an unstoppable flow, and many of my memories have been erased by the years which have gone by. Nevertheless, one of the things which has remained engraved in my heart is the unstained purity of the snow. It's curious how our mind retains certain details, which we might not even be conscious of, and recalls them throughout our life for no apparent reason. Well, for me, snow would be that simple detail. I always unwillingly see snow when I look into the past.

Snow was there during our many, many days together. I recall some of those days as being beautiful, like the day when we fulfilled our first promise. The day when we constructed our first snowman. I remembered how you had to convince me about the snowman being tall enough, even though I had wanted to construct one taller, tall enough to reach the sky.

Snow has been there in the decisive moments of our relationship. Well, at least I think so. It was there during so many days… Snow was there when we had that snowball fight so long ago. It was there when you were let out of the hospital, and it was there when you fell ill again. Snow was there when you died, and it was also there when Ushio was born. Snow was there for the five years that I had to live without you. Snow… it was there when Ushio died. Snow was almost always there, like an eternal companion.

Don't you think snow is contradictory? It's so beautiful, so ethereal, so… well, I don't really know how to describe it. So perfect, yet, at the same time, it bears a different meaning to us, that makes snow seem like a curse rather than a blessing. While snow represents happiness and pureness for many people, bringing joy to both children and adults, it is the image of tragedy and pain to our family.

In a way, although it might be strange, I've come to agree with you over time. I now think we resemble snow. In our own way, our relationship was doomed to melt. I promised you that my heart would be your snowfield, Nagisa. And you indirectly told me that yours would be mine. But Nagisa, when you died… what was left for me? Your heart left, and I died with the subsequent snowmelt. You're still alive, because my heart is your home. Your snowfield. But I died the moment you left me.

I never truly understood why you liked the Big Dango Family so much. I think you would've liked to have a family as large and happy as the one on that show. Well, I must tell you that you accomplished your dream, Nagisa, although it came true after you died. All our family reunited. Your parents, our friends, teachers, job companions, and even those people who we helped once a long time ago… they all reunited in your funeral. But it wasn't a happy family.

It's funny, right? The only time when families become completely reunited is at the time of tragedy. It's then that everyone truly realizes how much they loved that person. Good news might bring some people over, but bad events move whole families. Everyone was there, Nagisa. All the people we had known were there, giving you their blessing to go onto the other world. Even Ushio was there, although she spent all the time crying in Sanae's arms. She couldn't have known what was going on, but I like to think she sensed that her precious mother had left her.

I spent five years alone. I refused to be with anyone, and I even kept my own child away from me. Will I ever be forgiven? Was the tragedy which fell upon our daughter a punishment for my sins? I loved Ushio more than I loved myself. She resembled you in so many ways, Nagisa. She was as gentle, selfless and caring as you. Every time I looked at her, I could see your reflection within her. I especially remember how shocked I was the first time I saw her, that summer when we travelled together for the same time. I could swear I was seeing you as a child again, in your old room, with the nursery uniform. It took me time to convince myself that it was my daughter and not you. Afterwards, seeing her resting with a Dango plush in her arms, I saw you again, Nagisa, as if it were you there, sleeping by my side.

Even though you two are alike, she was also different from you in many ways. It might have been because she spent too much time with Akio. Or, who knows, she might have inherited more things from me than I had thought. She was much more active than you were, and she didn't hesitate to tell the truth whatever the consequences were. Her sincerity was overwhelming, except in those cases when she knew the truth would result in other people's unhappiness.

I always thought we would be a happy family. When years ago, I tried to picture our future, I always saw you in a family photograph, smiling happily at my side. I never thought that you'd leave me so early, Nagisa. The picture now has a void in the place you should have rightfully occupied as the family's matriarch.

You never told me you had fallen in a snowstorm. Snow falls much quicker when there's wind, right? You told me so. That's why you took such a short time to reach the ground. You didn't take 2000 seconds to fall from onto the earth. Because you had the bad luck to descend in a stormy weather.

I remember each and every single detail of the day you passed away, Nagisa. I blame snow for that. If it hadn't been for the snow, you would probably be alive right now. I remember your pale face drenched in sweat, your last smile, and your limp hands on the futon. Each and every single day of those five years I spent alone in this apartment I recalled that moment on uncountable occasions, each time reviving the pain which my heart had tried desperately to leave behind and failed.

There is no use in recalling all of those things right now. The past has been left behind, and there's nothing we can do to change it.

In spite of the seemingly endless pain which waited ahead of me, from which I saw no possible escape, a light appeared at the end of the tunnel. After so many years of suffering, my reward came into my life. Our little snowflake. Ushio. I would have never imagined that, as a parent, you could love your children so much.

She was my everything. After you left me, and I underwent so much loneliness and sadness, she was my savior, the person who gave me the strength to face life again. Don't you think it's somehow ironic? Parents should be there when children cry to console them, and not the other way around.

Our tiny snowflake, that seemingly unimportant tide, that small current, was the result of so many people's efforts. When I think back, I realize how many people made this miracle possible. Kyou, Ryou, Kotomi, Sunohara, Mei, Misae, Sanae, Akio, Tomoyo, Rie, Nishina, Yukine... all of them collaborated so that Ushio was born. Our daughter was not the result of love, but she is love itself: the embodiment of the efforts and feelings of all our precious people.

However, she was also doomed to melt. Nagisa, you were a liar. You told me that we would melt once we reached the earth, but you failed to mention that snowflakes could melt in midair as well. Our little snowflake, our heart's tide, our daughter, Ushio, was unlucky enough to melt before she had the opportunity to touch the ground.

Thinking about how our daughter left her life behind is sad, Nagisa. She had such a bright future, and so much time to live. She was full of life, a reflection of vitality itself. I thought that, just as her name, she would live eternally, always going up and down, making the sea fall and rise, always and forever. I later realized how mistaken I was. As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, she was mortal, and she died.

The day when she died, it snowed, too. In her case, it was the snow that brought about the downfall. She died as soon as snow started to fall. As winter neared, her health became worse, and I found myself staring at her for days on end, unable to do anything. I'm glad that, at least, I could see her die happily in my arms after I fulfilled her last wish. If our daughter had left this world with a single tear rolling down her cheeks, my heart wouldn't have been able to withstand it.

Of course, after you two left, there was nothing else for me to live for. What I did afterwards was meaningless. I, eventually, died too. But I somehow didn't see death as a punishment. Instead, I welcomed it. Opening my arms to embrace that redemption from the endless pain.

My wish has always been for all of us to live together as a family. I'm sure you would've been a wonderful mother. I can picture you taking care of Ushio perfectly. She would've grown up next to her real mother. Of course, Sanae and Akio did a wonderful job in raising Ushio. They taught her how to be a good person, and I will never be able to repay them for what they did for me. What they did for you and Ushio. I couldn't have done it any better. Nevertheless, I would've wanted to see our daughter grow up by our side, supporting her when she fell and drying her tears whenever she cried.

I also think someone deserves a special mention here. Ushio made a friend whose name was Fuuko. She was Ibuki-sensei's sister, who had been seven years in a comma. Although she was only two years younger than me, she looked like a high school girl, and she had a very bizarre character. She was very random, and loved starfishes as much as you loved dangos. But she was Ushio's friend, and played with her many days for hours on end. She truly helped in making Ushio smile.

Another person who collaborated a lot was Kyou. She became Ushio's nursery teacher. What a coincidence, right? Well, I'm not sure if fate wanted it to happen this way. With time, the energetic and aggressive girl we knew turned into a well-mannered, calm woman, who was the best nursery teacher our daughter could've had. Kyou was patient and strict, so she also helped Ushio to slowly grow up.

I tried to do it as well as I could. During the six months I spent with her, I tried to teach her how to behave well, and how to take care of herself so that when I came home late, I knew she had taken a shower and put on clean clothing. I tried to keep up with Sanae's education. I'm not sure if I did it or not. However, I'm sure that Ushio was happy while she was with me. Kyou, who had known her before, told me she was much livelier since she had moved in with me.

Nevertheless, I sometimes can't help but to wonder, Nagisa. I imagine what it would've been like if you hadn't died. I'm not sure if Ushio would've grown up differently then. Would we have been happier? Would our fate have changed? Would Ushio have died? We would never know, and, unluckily enough, for as much as we would want to, we could never be able to go back in time to change the things that we wanted to change.

Would things have been different if snow had never fallen? If we had never talked about snow, if we had lived in a tropical country, if we had been freed from our cursed tie to snow… would you have lived? Is snow the reason why we were together or the cause of our deaths?

We were snowflakes. You fell in a snowstorm. Ushio melted while falling. And I was left for the weather to toy with after you both left me. And, as my unavoidable fate imposed upon me, I died. All the Okazaki family left this world. The snowmelt caused us to turn into water. And probably, our souls will be recycled and we will reincarnate in another life. And I'm sure that we'll meet each other again, maybe even in another world.

I died the moment you died Nagisa, because my heart left with you. I was alive again when I met Ushio. But when the snowmelt came and she died, I truly died along with her.

I regret not having done many things before: not having told you how much I truly loved you, not having spent all the time I could with Ushio, not being able to repay your parents for their generosity, not having forgiven my father before. All these will be burdens I will carry forever.

I love you, Nagisa. And I love Ushio, too.

But my snowmelt came, and I will not be able of telling you these things ever again.

-

_I'm in a world. A world that ended. A vacant, unmoving world. A vast, white world. Light orbs fill the air, slowly rising towards the sky._

_In this world, there are only two lives. Mine and the girl's_.

_However, one of the lives is vanishing. In this sad world, where there is no place for happiness, in the midst of the white snow falling from the sky, a girl is slowly dying. I''ve always been with that girl. Only the two of us, alone, in this sad world._

_I only wanted to take her to another world, a world where the sun shines every day and where she can meet other people and be happy. A lively, warm world. Although winter was coming and she had to stay at home to survive, I took her on this journey to try and find that world. I was unable to construct anything on my own and, after our flying machine collapsed, I insisted on going by foot._

_But winter was faster than we were. It caught up with us. And the girl became unable to continue. She collapsed onto the snow, and hasn't woken up ever since._

_A life is slowly disappearing. The girl is lying on the ground, and the snow is piling up around her. She's almost half-covered. Her white dress is barely distinguishable from the frozen droplets of water. The small particles get caught between her chestnut hair. She looks asleep, but I can tell she's dying. I hold onto her hand. However, I'm unable of feeling her warmth._

_Why did we have to go on this journey? I could have stayed with her forever, and there would have been no need of anything else. So what made me do this? I should have just lived on with her in this world. We would have been alone, but, for me, just being with her is more than enough. I wanted to take her to a place where she would've been happier. But I ended up making her even more miserable instead._

_She's dying in the snow. The white powder makes her cold; it slowly freezes her soul and takes life away from her. It is slowly killing her. Is this the end of our journey?_

_Is this what snow is? Is it the end of everything? The world's finale?_

_I don't want it to end like this. I don't want to let her die here._

_I try to get up and pull her along. But it's futile. I can't bring her with me. She's going to die._

_Suddenly, her eyes flutter open, and a clear voice sounds within my head._

_'You're there, aren't you?'_

_I'm always here, I want to say._

_'I'm glad I can finally hear your voice.'_

_You can? Can you truly hear me?_

_'Yes, because I won't be a human for much longer.'_

_Then, the girl explains a lot of things to me. She tells me we're people living in another world, a world where we've met, living other lives right now. She tells me how these floating lights are the feeling of people within that other world, and how she herself is this world. And, as the clear voice sounds within my head, snow stops falling, clouds open, and a ray of light is able to touch the white snow. The girl then starts humming a tune which sounds very familiar._

_'This is the song which you used to sing to me as a child.'_

_Suddenly, a blinding light emerges from an unknown place, accompanied by a strong wind. As my body starts to disintegrate, and I try to maintain my eyes fixed on the girl I see her smiling, and I hear her softly mutter her last words._

_"Goodbye... papa."_

_And as I disappear form that sad, vacant world, the last thing I see is snow. Snow that I know is going to melt._

_Maybe, just maybe... snow is not the ending, but a mere beginning. The key to open the door to other worlds._

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Phew... this ended up being a harder chapter to write than I thought it would be. Well, I hope you liked it. Please, read and review.

COC


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